How to Avoid Horrendous Food in Japan

Fish for sale at Nishiki Market in Kyoto

Fish for sale at Nishiki Market in Kyoto

Remember this jump rope song (okay, I know I’m dating myself!): “Apple on a stick. Makes me sick.”

I have a better one:  Squid on a skewer. Put it in the sewer.

Squid-on-a-stick, Kyoto

Squid-on-a-stick, Kyoto

Not gonna lie, most of the food I tried to eat in Japan evoked a strong gag reflex…

  • First of all, I do not like sushi. Sorry, I just don’t.  Aside from the disgusting texture, “bite-sized” is not a one-size-fits-all proposition.  It’s impossible to cut those suckers with chopsticks; I once tried to put a whole piece of sushi and its rice base in my mouth, but it filled up all available space and I was unable to get any traction to chew it.  To avoid gagging, I spit the whole thing out in my napkin.  Admittedly, not a pretty picture, but far more desirable than retching in public.
Sashimi (sushi without rice) -- looks beautiful, tastes terrible

Sashimi (sushi without rice) — looks beautiful, tastes terrible

  • Slimy squid on a stick, the skin so tough your teeth can sink into it.
  • Sukiyaki – thin sliced, fatty, tough beef drowning in a sea of mucus-like raw egg.
  • Mystery soup, accompanied by funky tasting molded eggs, and bland white rice for breakfast.  No thank you, I’ll just surreptitiously eat this protein bar I squirreled away in my purse

Luckily there’s a lot more to like in Japan, like super-friendly people, stunning historical palaces, shogun castles, exquisite gardens, great shopping venues, and – my favorite – geisha makeovers.

Guess who? My Geisha makeover...

Guess who? My Geisha makeover…

To avoid committing a faux pas eating disaster, head for these places:

Lots of choices in the Nishiki Market, Kyoto

Lots of choices in the Nishiki Market, Kyoto

  • Open-air markets – variety abounds, and along with grub you may have never seen before (and hope you never see again), you can assuredly find something that you can get past your eyes and into your mouth.  At the Nishiki Market in Kyoto, I found Japanese candy that was almost too cute to eat.

Japanese candy — aesthetically beautiful

  • Restaurants (usually around the hotel zones) that cater to tourists.  There were quite a few in the Shinjuku District of Tokyo.  And don’t let any of those travel snobs tell you you’re not “authentically” experiencing Japan!  Travel is what you make of it.  (See A Word About Travel Snobs) You can still visit venues with horrible food (the photo ops are priceless!), but you don’t have to eat there.

Lucky for me, in Narita, I found tempura – small portions of meat, shrimp, or vegetables covered in a light batter and deep fried to a crisp perfection.

And on the road to Kiyomizu Temple in Kyoto, I discovered green tea ice cream… so I ordered two cones.  For myself.

“Ice cream is exquisite.  What a pity it isn’t illegal.”  ~Voltaire

Green tea ice cream... can't get enough!

Green tea ice cream… can’t get enough!

Comments

  1. At least you gave the food a try before finding out you didn’t like it. I’m usually game to try any food, but I’ve never been to Japan and don’t know how I’d react. The green tea ice cream looks yummy though.
    Donna Janke recently posted…Louis Riel StatuesMy Profile

  2. What about noodles? I’m sure I could find a way to make do:-)
    Irene S. Levine recently posted…2013 North American Travel Journalist Association Awards AnnouncedMy Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      Noodles weren’t as plentiful as I had thought. I did eat a lot of rice, though! Yes, I made do…. it was worth it because the sights were great, and I’m really not a foodie. :)

  3. That’s funny, I think sweets is always a universal yummy for everyone, i love sushi so it was a good experience for me…but the soups, noodles and bento boxes where also great along with the bbq joints
    noelmorata recently posted…Sunrise on a Valentines morning on the Big IslandMy Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      Everyone else in our group loved the sushi, too. I was so looking forward to the bento boxes, but they had a lot of mushy, unidentifiable stuff too. It’s me, I have an issue with consistency! But sometimes these things make better stories than the same-old, same-old, don’t you think? One of my favorite blog posts about this trip was the day we were delayed at the Osaka train station: http://luggageandlipstick.com/girls-gone-bored/

  4. I like squid. I’m a sushi fan, too- thought preferred cooked fish- no sashimi for me. For years I only ate tempura and teriiaki and sukiaki, it had to be real cooked food- then I discovered sushi and fell in love.

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      I wish I could like it, I really do. Even here in the US, there are a lot of sushi fans. Alas, I’ll never be one!

  5. I don’t eat sushi either, so I’m with ya and green tea ice cream sounds ridiculously good! Love the geisha photo, that must have been a fun experience.
    Patti recently posted…Eating Our Way Across the USA ~My Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      I didn’t let the food stop me from enjoying the trip. The Geisha makeover was the highlight of the trip! Two girlfriends did it with me, and we had a blast!

  6. I love sushi but there are a few of the selections I draw the line at, Patti. Squid, it has to be cooked but I admit I have never tried it raw. Oh lordy those old fermented eggs….no, no, no!! And soups…most of the Asian soups have not worked for me so far. I was told that most all of the places in Japan now offer forks and spoons if you are unable to use chopsticks? Not the case? Good read and yes on the ice cream! :)
    Mike recently posted…Phoenix, My Golden Retriever, The Notorious Ball Cap BanditoMy Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      I’m with ya, Mike. I ate a lot of rice, but luckily with a little research I was able to find some edible things to keep me going. I don’t chopsticks and actually prefer to use them when possible, just to keep my skills sharp. :)

  7. I’m afraid I had a very similar reaction to real Japanese food in Japan which made me feel a little like a gastronomic Ugly American. In fact, I was moved to write a post very similar to this, “Would you like salted fish guts with that?” I also ate quite a bit of rice and cold noodles with teryaki sauce when I could find them in corner stores. Like you, we discovered soft serve green tea ice cream. Did you “get” that you’re not supposed to walk around eating food–even when you buy it from a street stand? Anyway, if you don’t mind me sharing it, here’s the link to my Japanese food post:
    http://www.boomeresque.com/would-you-like-salted-fish-guts-with-that/
    Suzanne Fluhr recently posted…Say What??? Southeast Asia SignsMy Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      I’m so relieved to learn that I’m not the only person in the world that doesn’t love raw fish. I, too, made an effort not to be an “ugly American” by not complaining (too much) and pushing my food around my plate, just like I when I was a child. I liked the “fish guts” story — you nailed it when you said slimy is a big part of Japanese food prep. I just can’t do slimy.

  8. Don’t tell anyone….. but I’m not a big fan of sushi either. And the thought of “slimy squid” does not appeal to me at all. Green tea ice cream sounds very good to me. I agree that the authenticity of the travel experience is never dependent on one aspect. It’s a very personal thing.
    Cathy Sweeney recently posted…Bay Area Getaway at the Napa River InnMy Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      Your secret is safe with me, Cathy! You can sometimes find green tea ice cream here in the states, at Japanese restaurants. Give it a try!

  9. We can’t all like the same thing :) I have eaten some great food when in Japan. Real ramen (not the stuff in a bag or box), sushi (I like it), bento boxes are nice. Squid on a stick is good too. I actually got to like this when I was in Taiwan.
    Nancie recently posted…Travel Photo Thursday – February 13, 2014 – Chiang Mai’s 38th Annual Flower FestivalMy Profile

    • luggageandlipstick says:

      That is so true, Nancy. What a boring world it would be if we all liked the same food, adventures, climate, etc.! It’s wonderful to travel to faraway places to try new things. That fact that we may or may not like everything we taste is irrelevant — it’s the experience that counts.

  10. I do love sushi and could do it over and over again, but if it gets too abstract (guts, and other disgusting parts) count me out. Now that ice cream cone. . ..
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  11. I’m not a fan of fish or rice, so sushi has never appealed to me! Glad you found some food to like though, the ice cream sounds amazing :)
    Catherine recently posted…Hotel Beds Around The WorldMy Profile

  12. For me the Japanese candy is out of this world. Every one should try it! It will blow your mind 😉
    Terry recently posted…Japanese shouting vaseMy Profile

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